I use to classify people into those that care about the opinion of others, and are affected by them, and those that only care about how they appear to others, not necessarily what others think of them. I told myself the opinions others have is their business .. and is within their power.. but the way I appear is my business and is within my power… this was all BS, cause bottom line being bothered about the opinion of others or just “how we appear” is the same principle and will rob us of similar amount of time.
There really isn’t a way to say we are bothered about our appearance, without saying we are bothered about opinions. Don’t get me wrong, we need to care for our bodies, our health, how we look and our well-being; self improvement is a beautiful journey, but we need to be careful it doesn’t get to the point of bothersome on our minds. I somehow found a way to justify me being bothered, I used to say… “its all over my body, how would I not be bothered about opinions, or sometimes ill just pretend I didn’t care, I thought it was me adapting, which was so bad because it delayed the mental healing I could’ve experienced earlier. How could I healthily adapt without healing first?.
Thankfully, the only persons opinion of our appearance that should matter is God. God is love, he is a perfect God that knows we are not perfect, doesn’t need us to be perfect, but just wants us to come as we are. He loves us despite our imperfection. Perfectionism is stressful, most of the time you aren’t living for yourself and you don’t even know it.
So many of us have insecurities… small, medium, large, even, extra large, that we have perfected the art of masking… its like some have a PhD in covering up flaws… I think I got to a BSc… Society today thrives on the idea that if it is flawed it isn’t fit for use, and if it isn’t perfect, it isn’t good enough. So therefore, we have become so good at putting up this false defense that says ‘all is gucci‘… ‘i’m absolutely flawless‘ … ‘i’m perfectly fine …‘is okay is okay’, when really it isn’t… We completely aren’t to blame tho, because society will even drag down (if they can) those that look, or are flawless… others will even project their own insecurities and self-discontent on you. If you let society, it will make you feel trash about being yourself.
This defense however, became a massive problem for me, and probably for many others. My own version of expertise in masking and covering up… made me forget to put down these defenses before God. Imagine trying to deceive God when all was not good. I felt God say to me one Wednesday afternoon, “If you would come before me… broken in spirit, flawed in flesh, with your mind opened just as you are… and just let me do what I do best, bringing out pure Gold in us (job 23:10), making a beautiful pot out of dirty clay (Jer 18 1-6), instead of choosing to walk around like a poorly patched up pottery…
The potter is in the house… The master potter is in the house!
We are so fixated on our image, that we fail to, or forget to drop all that facade, all that pretense and all false perfection.. when we come before him, the creator of heaven, earth and all that is within. Its really unfortunate, because we can only blame ourselves when we go back as the same poorly patched up pot we came as.
The potter is ready whenever we are… The master potter is ready whenever we are!
When all isn’t fine, pretending it is doesn’t make it any better. It is not a crime or a sign of weakness to admit imperfection, or that all isn’t fine. The healing process, the journey to becoming our best self only begins when we take courage and draw strength in admitting our exact state and position.
“True beauty is all about being authentic and owning your uniqueness”
“Be yourself, an original is worth more than a copy”
“You can’t blend in, when you were created to stand out”
Gal 5:25-26 MSG.